Efforts to prevent child sexual abuse over the past decade are showing results and confirmed cases are down. Yet still too many children - an estimated 1 in 10 - are at risk of being sexually abused or exploited. As a parent, you can be your child’s best protection. Here’s how.
What’s a Parent to Do?
Begin talking to your child about body boundaries and privacy by age 3. Remember, it’s easy, if you begin early and reinforce messages over time.
Only allow those you trust to provide genital, perianal and bathing care for your child.
Encourage children’s independence in personal self-care.
Discourage co-bathing with siblings and adults.
Introduce concepts of “OK” and “Not OK” touch. Avoid using the terms “good or bad touch.” Children get confused by the notions that a good person could touch then in a bad way; that touching in private parts can feel good yet be bad; and that being touched in a bad way might mean they are bad.
Increase supervision. By reducing “one child/one adult” situations, you can reduce your child’s risk of abuse by an estimated 8o%.
Teach children and teens to respect adults’ and siblings’ privacy by modeling this behavior yourself.
Teach teens to practice equality and respect in their relationships and to demand the same.
Develop a safety plan with your teen in case he/she needs to get out of risky situations.
Encourage your teen to stay sober to reduce the risks of sexual abuse.
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Jetta Bernier is Executive Director of Massachusetts Citizens for Children. She directs the Enough Abuse Campaign, a community mobilization and citizen education effort established in 2002 under a 5-year grant from the US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention and supported in part by the Ms. Foundation for Women. The Campaign’s comprehensive model has now been adopted in Maryland, New Jersey, New York and regions of California. For more information about how to prevent child sexual abuse, visit www.enoughabuse.or
In a strategic effort to move civil SOL reform forward, Senator Brownsberger yesterday personally reached out to his Senate colleagues to urge them to add their names to a letter that he and Rep. Lawn have drafted. The letter urges Senate President Murray and House Speaker DeLeo to shepherd SOL bills S. 63 and H.1455 out of Committee and on to the Senate and House floors for a vote. Within hours, 30 of 40 Senators had already signed the letter. Rep. Lawn is reaching out to his House colleagues and expects strong support as well.
Your voice needs to be heard today. Call your legislators and urge them to add their names to the letter. If they have already done so, thank them and encourage them to ask their colleagues to do the same. (Because Sen. Brownsberger and Rep. Lawn are reaching out personally to their colleagues, legislative aides may not yet be aware of this effort. You should know this, in case aides tell you they have not seen such a letter.) The letter will be sent to Speaker DeLeo and Senate President Murray on July 31 just before the August recess. It may be publicly released to the media at that time. Make sure your legislators’ names are on it.
Tell them that survivors and advocates intend to take the issue of SOL reform to the mat. We expect them to take it to the Floor and vote to abolish or retroactively extend the civil SOL. Survivors deserve justice and our children deserve action now. Thanks and check CORSAL's website or Facebook page for regular updates!
This week the Talk Early, Talk Often series continues on the SAAM Blog with a guest post from author and expert Dr. Janet Rosenzweig. Join us on Tueday, April 2 for a twitter chat hosted by @JanetRosenzweig on child sexual abuse prevention. Use the hashtag #TweetAboutIt to participate.
Parents are the strongest influence on their children's decisions about sex and sexuality, yet most parents underestimate their own power. A major national survey reported in 2010 that 46 percent of teens continue to say that parents most influence their decisions about sex, while just 20 percent say friends most influence their decisions. At the same time, parents overestimate the influence media and friends have on their children's decisions about sex and underestimate their own.
The same study tells us that 88 percent of parents agree with the statement that "parents believe they should talk to their kids about sex but often don’t know what to say, how to say it, or when to start." (Albert 2010)
It's easy to see why: They were raised in the era I've dubbed "The Neutered Nineties". That's when we traded rational discussion about sexuality for Megan's Laws and sex offender registries, in the name of 'prevention.' It's when cash-strapped school districts had to teach abstinence-only topics or lose federal funding. And when answering a question about masturbation at an AIDS conference got the U.S. surgeon general fired. Too many adults stopped talking to kids about sex. Qualified professionals went quiet and left a vacuum too easily filled by people who sexually offend.
Accurate and age-appropriate information about sex disappeared from most professional work in child sexual abuse, and it's time to put it back.
Where to start? With two critical messages for our children:
They need to know accurate names for all their body parts; and
They need to understand that physical sexual arousal is an autonomic response -- like getting goosebumps when tickled.
One now-grown female victim of child sexual abuse I interviewed for The Sex-Wise Parent told me that good touch-bad touch programs can actually be dangerous to a victim because sometimes the touch actually feels good! Further, men who were victims of sexual abuse report that the confusion resulting from a climax is one of the most difficult issues to resolve.
People who sexually offend exploit children's guilt and their lack of knowledge related to sexuality often try to convince them that they must have actually enjoyed the abuse because of a physical response over which they have no control. Understanding sexual response is important for boys and girls -- people who prey on teen-aged girls exploit the fact that very few girls understand that their physical response to a sexual thought, feeling or touch has absolutely nothing to do with love.
Language and knowledge that parents equip children with are a defense against abuse. Raising a child who knows the parts of his or her body, and knows that it's safe to tell parents or a trusted adult if they have been touched, can prevent their victimization and probably other children's, too. And, if abuse occurs, harm may be mitigated if the child understands their body's response.
For parents who need support as they heed the advice to 'talk early-talk often,' I suggest practicing with friends and getting used to using sexual terms without discomfort. Take turns role-playing, asking each other the kinds of questions you fear getting from your children. Watch this video for ideas and encouragement. This may not be easy at first, but the reward can be lifelong -- a sexually safe and healthy child!
Find more ideas at my website and feel free to E-mail me your questions!
Dr. Janet Rosenzweig worked for the first sexual abuse helpline in the U.S., in Knox County, Tennessee; that project developed into a 5-county treatment program and a national multi-disciplinary training center. She has also managed child sexual abuse programs in Texas and New Jersey, and is the author of The Sex-Wise Parent: The Parent's Guide Protecting Your Child, Strengthening Your Family, and Talking to Kids about Sex, Abuse, and Bullying, (Skyhorse Publishing, 2012). She is currently the national consultant for child sexual abuse prevention programs for Prevent Child Abuse - America, a lecturer at the University of Pennsylvania and a speaker offering keynotes and training nationally.
CHICAGO, IL, January 14, 2013 – Pennsylvania Governor Tom Corbett recently launched a lawsuit against the National Collegiate Athletic Association (NCAA) seeking to have all of the NCAA penalties against Penn State’s football program thrown out. These sanctions brought about by the Jerry Sandusky child sexual abuse case include a $60 million fine which is to be used for funding child sexual abuse prevention and treatment programming.
The lawsuit represents an about face in terms of Governor Corbett’s public position on the sanctions. This past July he was quoted as saying, “We must repair the damage to this university. Part of that corrective process is to accept the serious penalties imposed by the NCAA on Penn State University and its football program.”
The temptation is to ask why Governor Corbett has chosen to do this, or even seek to answer that question ourselves. But asking why or trying to discern the impetus for this decision is not where we need to focus our attention. What’s important is recognizing that our real focus is on fixing an ugly situation that is all too common.
We live in a culture that up until now has allowed for silence and shame, and at times has all too willingly puts profits and brands ahead of people. It doesn’t have to be this way though, we can do what’s right, not sometimes, all the time, and when we do, what’s wrong will be illuminated for all to see.
Each one of us has the ability to change this culture; and both individually and collectively, we can do something every day to prevent not just child sexual abuse, but all forms of child abuse and neglect.
We can all knock on our neighbor’s doors and offer to be of assistance during times of crisis. We can all volunteer at child sexual abuse prevention organizations. We can all ask our local media to highlight what works in terms of enhancing the lives of the children and families in our communities. And we can all ask business leaders and policymakers what their vision is for the healthy development of all children and their families.
We can do this, all of us, together. We can shine a light on what’s wrong and we can make it right.
“I call on the citizens of this great country to say enough,” said James M. Hmurovich, President & CEO, Prevent Child Abuse America. “Enough silence. Enough shame. I also call on everyone to join us in this dialogue and provide a voice in your communities that says we are done looking the other way. We all play a role in prevention, now let’s come together and do something about it.”
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ABOUT PREVENT CHILD ABUSE AMERICA
Prevent Child Abuse America, founded in 1972 in Chicago, works to ensure the healthy development of children nationwide. The organization promotes that vision through a network of chapters in 50 states and 530 Healthy Families America home visitation sites in 39 states, the Mariana Islands, Puerto Rico and Canada. A major organizational focus is to advocate for the existence of a national policy framework and strategy for children and families while promoting evidence-based practices that prevent abuse and neglect from ever occurring. To learn more about what we’re doing to prevent child abuse and neglect and how you can help, please visit us here and here.
